


Meeting Her in the Middle

by Pyukumukus



Series: Umineko: When They Cry -- Modern AU [1]
Category: Umineko no Naku Koro ni | When the Seagulls Cry
Genre: F/M, First Time Blow Jobs, Het Erotica for Clout, Humor, Oral Sex, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:47:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24360829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pyukumukus/pseuds/Pyukumukus
Summary: Battler attempts his first shot at fellatio. Beatrice is not impressed.___[ This fic features trans!Beatrice. Gross comments will be deleted.]
Relationships: Beatrice the Golden Witch/Ushiromiya Battler
Series: Umineko: When They Cry -- Modern AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1758877
Comments: 5
Kudos: 27





	Meeting Her in the Middle

“Is this... is this alright?” Battler came off of Beatrice’s length with a look of unease. The muscles of his jaw twitched, and the way he held his mouth was stiff, utterly unpleasant on Beatrice's skin. She felt a pang of frustration-- it was cute that he asked, but  _ cute _ didn't get her hard. Battler was never bold when it mattered; he was inexperienced in bed and his moods waned between excitement and virginal bashfulness. Beatrice didn't know why it was so difficult for him, really. Battler was, after all, a massive pervert. 

“It's fine,” Beatrice said, with a scowl. Battler blushed at the nasty edge to her voice. She hadn't meant to be rude. The girl tried to fix her tone and overcome her impatience. “You don't seem to be enjoying yourself, that’s all,” she added. “If you don't want to do it, we can move on to something else.” 

“I  _ am  _ trying to enjoy myself, but it's difficult when you keep criticizing me. This is my first time, so cut me some slack,” Battler replied. He sat up on the mattress so he could look Beatrice better in the eye. 

Beatrice let out a mocking laugh. “If I wasn't helping you every step of the way, you would have grated my cock down to a pencil. Admit it, you're furniture writhing on the sheets, and I'm your master.”

“I thought I asked you to stop with that wacky BDSM stuff. Can we please have normal sex?” Battler’s voice was sheepish, embarrassed.

“ _ Whaaaaat _ ? This is normal sex. It's a blow job, you moron.” Beatrice ran a hand down her face, feeling agitation rise in her stomach. “Oral sex is so… vanilla. Maybe we're not having fun because it lacks  _ passion _ and  _ intensity _ .”

“N-No way!” Battler's eyes shone with reproach at Beatrice's suggestion. Her original proposition to him was more colorful, but Battler refused on the premise that they didn’t own scissors sharp enough to cut through rope. Beatrice lamented the fault that her boyfriend was miserably uncultured when it came to erotica. Battler folded his arms in indignation. “This was a compromise, Beato.”

“If you tried to meet me halfway, you’ve already failed! This is not even a fourthway, Battler.” Beatrice sighed. “It's really not difficult. You're making a fuss out of nothing.”

Battler threw down his hands, exasperated. “Oh yeah? If you're such an expert, why do your directions suck!?”

“My directions do not suck! My fellatio is the paragon of oral related foreplay, perfected from my thousand years spent as a witch. I thought my prior sex acts would be demonstrative,” Beatrice spat. She pouted at her boyfriend, letting her lip stick out to express her disappointment. “You’re learning from the best, so open up and do what I would do.” 

“Did you think I was taking notes while you were going down on me?  _ Gahhh _ !” Battler let out a cry of frustration. “I never thought I’d be on the performing end.”

“ _ You’ve  _ never thought about giving head, you mean?” A wicked grin erupted across her mouth. “Hoh, you filthy liar. You've  _ definitely _ thought about it before.”

Battler stammered at her. “I-I haven't--”

“Moron...” Beatrice snapped. She leaned across the bed to jab a finger into his chest. “ _ You _ were the one who suggested this. For a minute, it seemed exciting, but now…”

“Well… Well…” Battler scratched his head and cast his eyes to the side, his face going scarlet. Beatrice watched him fumble with a response. Battler’s tongue was tied. She let him struggle before interrupting his babbling. 

“Now I’m sick with boredom.” Beatrice shook her head. “I’m a prideful woman who isn’t entertained by your sloppy, amateurish ministrations. You have to want it, Battler-- to please me.”

“Nng, I do want it...” Battler’s voice trailed off, and when he found it, his courage shone through the smirk he wore. “Yeah, that's right. Beato, I  _ do _ want it.” 

Beatrice made a face, startled by his sudden show of confidence, but when Battler’s hand gripped her shoulder, she felt how weak his grip was. She let Battler push her back to the bed without much fuss, and quirked an eyebrow at him. Battler licked his lips, looking her over. Beatrice couldn’t help but feel her gut tighten at the sight of his indecision. 

“Battler--” she began, but her boyfriend silenced her with a soft, shushing noise. He smiled at Beatrice, his sea-green eyes crinkling around their edges. Battler bowed head until all she could see was the crown of his russet hair.

Battler knelt to loom over Beatrice's body, hands running down her sides to wrap around the swell of her hips. He caressed the tender skin of his lover’s thighs crossed with pale stretch marks. Beatrice still wore an ugly expression, but her eyes softened at the kisses Battler left on her waist in a line to her groin. Her arousal had flagged during their argument-- she was soft against the pads of her boyfriend’s fingers when they brushed over Beatrice’s lap. He ghosted his palm against her cock, stroking it from base to tip. Battler knew to be gentle with her; Beatrice had a tendency to become anxious when she wasn’t in control. Pleasuring her was a privilege he was granted out of trust. Closing his eyes, Battler thought about how much he wanted to express his gratitude for Beatrice’s faith in him. He took a deep breath and brought his face closer to his girlfriend’s pelvis. 

  
  
  
  


Heat knotted Beatrice’s stomach at the sight of Battler’s tongue flitting out to taste the head of her cock. “I want you to service me,” she said. “I want you to please me.” She threaded her fingers through Battler’s thick head of hair and watched him nod as he continued to lap like a dog. 

Battler’s tongue and lips traced lines up the underside of Beatrice’s hardening shaft. She gave him quiet moans of encouragement, praising her boyfriend when his mouth closed around the tip. The young man’s licks were clumsy, but the warmth of his mouth was delightful against Beatrice’s most sensitive place. She invited him to take more with a slight roll of her hips.

“I w-wan’t you to release me,” Beatrice said. Battler heeded her demands by opening his jaw wider. He made an awkward face, trying to wrap his lips around his teeth, while he sunk down on her cock. Beatrice stiffened against the inside of his cheeks. She could feel him sucking on the few inches he could manage. Her sex was  _ delicate _ and  _ ladylike _ , Beatrice thought, which was a kind way of admitting that its size was nothing to marvel at-- she was barely average. 

Battler handled her erection like an anaconda. It would have been hysterical if his attempts weren’t so endearing. A split-slicked hand eclipsed what little there was left of Beatrice’s length, and Battler began to brush the underside with his thumb, rubbing circles into her skin. Beatrice moaned when she saw him struggling to pull her into his throat. He swallowed, gagged, and came off of her with spit dripping down his chin.

“S-Sorry,” Battler muttered, hoarsely. He licked his lips, tasting his lover. 

“Don’t be,” Beatrice said. “I thought it was sexy.”

Battler grimaced. He couldn’t stand being on the receiving end of his girlfriend’s sadistic teasing. Beatrice tried to smooth things over by petting his head. 

“Was I doing a good job?” Battler asked. “I can keep going.”

“Mmm!” Beatrice nodded. “You’re learning quickly. Try straightening your throat and making a fist if you’re having trouble.” 

“Um… Ok.” Battler didn’t understand Beatrice’s advice, but he wanted desperately to meet her standards. He lowered his head again, allowing his bangs to obscure his expression. Beatrice could only see his opening mouth.

Beatrice trembled shamelessly when Battler’s lips enveloped her cock. She let out a sigh as her boyfriend let her sink into him. He weighed her shaft on his tongue for a moment, tasting her flesh before his head bobbed along her erection. Beatrice hissed in pleasure each time the young man swallowed more of her. When Battler’s nose poked her groin, she found herself hilted inside his hot, wet mouth. The sensation made her want to rock into her furniture’s throat until his jaw ached from use. Beatrice imagined him choking on her cock with that pathetic look in his eyes he wore whenever he serviced her, his face a ruin of sweat and spit and seed. Beatrice groaned. She pulled back into the mattress and gave an experimental thrust.

Battler’s eyes widened, his stomach heaved, and he spat her out with a hacking cough. 

_ R-Right. Well, no one’s perfect the first time… _

Beatrice didn’t mind the reprieve because the sight of her boyfriend with drool dripping from his lips in a line to her wet cock made her weak. So weak, she almost came without the feeling of his skin against her skin. Her lips parted to speak, but she instead let out a strangled squeak when his mouth wrapped around her once more.

“Nnng! B-Battler… I want you to  _ wooooorship _ me. Ah--ahahahaaa~ ah.  _ Ahhh _ …” Beatrice’s moans were outrageous and affected with her usual dramatics. She even gave a jerk of her hips to fix his disorganized rhythm. His teeth grazed her sides, and she gasped despite not minding the pain. Although it hurt, the scarlet flush of his face and his mouth paid for it. She wanted to brush back his russet hair to see the eyes she loved so much, but her arms were locked at her sides, gripping the bed, trying not to lose composure. 

Beatrice’s chest heaved, and she felt a wave of pleasure wash over her and linger within her gut. “ _ Wah ah-ah, wait _ ! Nng.” She struggled to rise, but her limbs were like jelly underneath her. “B-Bah…  _ Baaahttler, I _ \--” 

Battler realized the meaning of her words after he pulled off of her twitching cock with a hand firmly clamped over his mouth. With wide eyes, he pursed his lips. 

“N-no!  _ Don't you spit that out on my bed _ !” Beatrice’s body still trembled in the wake of her climax, and she stumbled across the mattress to get closer to her boyfriend. “... Swallow it.”

Battler puffed out his cheeks and glared at her in disbelief. 

Beatrice’s face flushed. “Mmm… use the-- the glass. There! On the nightstand.” 

Battler coughed up spit and semen into the lone glass of wine on the table. It made a disgusting concoction, and Battler couldn't help but wrinkle his nose at the sight. At the taste of his own mouth, he shuddered, and wiped his lips viciously with his forearm. “ _ Swallow _ …?”

“I-It was only a suggestion. Some people are into it…” Beatrice fretted around the bed. She finally regained her composure-- most of it-- and paced around the room, blushing heavily. “Listen, I told you to wait!” 

“No you didn't!” Battler threw up his arms in protest. “You were moaning out a bunch of unintelligible bullshit!”

Beatrice turned her back to him, folding her arms. She tried to hold her posture to maintain esteem, but behind the facade, she was a wreck. She wanted nothing more than to leave him and to clean up, so she conceded if only to move on with her night. 

“ _ Fine _ .” She snapped. “As you've said time and time again, I have communication issues, Battler. Thank you. <<Have a nice night.>>”

When Beatrice heard him scrabbling to follow her into the bathroom, she smiled, privately, and felt sadistic satisfaction well in her chest. 

“H-hey! Hold on…” Battler's voice became soft as he approached her from behind. “I didn't mean it like that.”

“Ohhh, shouldn't you of all people understand that words can hurt.” She was pushing his buttons now, relentlessly bullying him. She wouldn't be so mean if it weren't so much fun to be cruel… playfully cruel.

She turned the hot water on, and Battler took her by the shoulder. “Shower or bath?” He asked. 

“Shower.” Beatrice glanced at him.

“I need something to wash my mouth out with,” he said. “Mind if I join you?”

The cackle she let out was rude and deriding, but Beatrice held the curtain open for Battler to follow after her. Her lover stood in front of her in their tiny bathtub, and they both giggled and snickered as if sharing a private joke. 

“If you let me slip, I'll rip your eyes out with my fingernails.” His arms wrapped around her waist. 

“Both of them?”

“Yes! Both of them! I hate your stupid, sexy face, Battler. If you disappoint me, you will be punished, _ fuuuuuuurniture _ !”


End file.
